


Shit, I love you

by Everybody_Loves_Chocolate



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Coma, Confessions, Getting Together, Hospitals, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kissing, Light Angst, Like very very very light, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Memory Loss, Mentioned Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Mentioned Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Mentioned Suh Youngho | Johnny, Mentioned Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, Mentioned Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Mentioned Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Mentioned Zhong Chen Le, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, basically non existent, blink and you miss it - Freeform, does it count as slow burn if he forgot his feelings?, i did like close to zero research, i would love to tag cuddling but i dont think it would be accurate, probably, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25006990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everybody_Loves_Chocolate/pseuds/Everybody_Loves_Chocolate
Summary: Donghyuck exists somewhere between here and there. He hears boys talking about different things. The first confesses his love and apologizes over and over again. The second calls Donghyuck stupid. Donghyuck knows he should know who they are but the only thing he knows is his own name.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 141





	Shit, I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to *drum roll* another late night mess by *another drum roll* me!  
> It literally popped up in my head as I was reading another fanfiction and now i have to get up in five hours to go and do my thing. Hope you enjoy whatever this is :)
> 
> THE PART WRITTEN IN ITALICS IS A FLASHBACK

„I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Hyuckie. God, I love you, please just wake up. I love you, I love you so much. I’m sorry. It should’ve been me.”

Donghyuck didn’t exactly know what was going on if he was being honest. He couldn’t see anything, couldn’t feel himself, couldn’t remember a thing. The only thing he could do was listen to the devastated, broken voice of a boy he supposed he was very close to before he’d found himself in this predicament. The boy sounded so sad, so apologetic and self-deprecating Donghyuck wanted to assure him it wasn’t his fault even though he had no recollection of what had happened or who this boy was.

“I love you sunshine. If- _when_ you wake up I- maybe I’ll tell you. If you still want me around then,” the boy whispered and somewhere in his non-feeling state Donghyuck was sure his hand was being held. It was quiet after that except for a few sniffles. Donghyuck didn’t know what had happened or why the boy thought Donghyuck wouldn’t want to have him around after waking up.

There was shuffling and a very quiet voice before Donghyuck felt like he was alone again, somehow able to tell that the boy wasn’t present anymore. Donghyuck wondered what had happened. He didn’t know anything except for his own name. He existed somewhere in the blackness of nothing and at the same time he didn’t. It was weird. It was like he didn’t have a body, like he was the blackness itself but Donghyuck knew he wasn’t. Donghyuck wondered what the boy had been talking about. Wondered about what had happened, about his relationship to the boy, about himself.

There was nothing for a while. No sounds, no nothing. Donghyuck didn’t feel like he was sleeping, felt like he should but it was hard to do when he didn’t have eyes to close and a body to relax. Now that Donghyuck thought about having a body he found he couldn’t remember what he looked like. Couldn’t remember how old he was or what he did for a living. If he still lived with his parents or if he didn’t. He wasn’t even sure if he had parents at all. There was nothing there and Donghyuck had nowhere to search for the answers so he stayed awake, choosing to focus on his thoughts about the boy instead.

Time didn’t exist where Donghyuck was but it didn’t feel like it had been long since the boy had last spoken to him when he heard someone again.

“Hey Hyuck.”

Donghyuck felt like crying. He didn’t know why but his nonexistent eyes hurt from tears they couldn’t shed. It wasn’t the voice of the boy from before. It was someone else. His voice was softer in a way and Donghyuck felt like it shouldn’t be.

“Long time no see.” The new boy laughed wetly and Donghyuck was sure if he had a body he would have flung himself into his arms.

“You’re so stupid. Just call me if you want to see me. I know you’re one for the dramatics but do you really think you have to go into a coma for me to come see you again?”

So Donghyuck was in a coma. He guessed that explained his lack of seeing but he didn’t know if the inability to feel his body was also normal. The new boy caressed him somewhere, Donghyuck could feel that at least, and managed a cross between a huff and a chuckle.

“We’re all devastated Hyuck. God, you should be lucky only one person is allowed to see you in your room at a time. Imagine everyone fussing over you.” New Boy chuckled, though sadness was still laced in there. Donghyuck felt like, if he had any form of recollection, he’d want to chuckle too.

“Doc said we should talk to you about whatever. Apparently it’ll help you wake up faster.”

After that it was quiet for so long Donghyuck was sure New Boy had left for some reason but just as he thought that he started up again, whispering with a strained voice, “I got together with Jeno and Jaemin. It was just like you said. They didn’t tell me because I never showed them the side of me they needed to see. The distance made them feel like I actually only tolerated them. I’m sorry Hyuck, I should’ve listened to you.” A watery laugh again.

“If you were awake you’d probably punch me for saying that. Actually, you’d probably punch all of us for being so down when you’re going to wake up anyways and we could’ve lived our lives as normal as we could without you. But then I’d fucking punch you and tell you to shut the fuck up. Probably while crying and then I’d pull you into the longest fucking hug. I promise I’m not going to let you go for an hour when I’m allowed to hug you again.”

Donghyuck wanted to lift the arms he couldn’t feel and envelop New Boy in the biggest hug right now. He sounded broken but it was a different broken from the boy before him, something less deeply rooted, like he was expecting Donghyuck to wake up immediately and tell him he was dumb for thinking Donghyuck would ever let anything happen to himself. Donghyuck knew he couldn’t give that to him but that he really, really wanted to.

He felt like his hand was being held again but New Boy didn’t say anything else. It was completely silent now and if it weren’t for that feeling Donghyuck had he’d think he was alone. It stayed like that for what could’ve been hours or seconds or years before the feeling vanished and New Boy spoke again.

“I have to go now but I’ll come over again when the rest all have visited.”

Silence again. Donghyuck wondered how many others ‘the rest’ were. He felt like there were going to be a lot of people visiting him and for some reason he wanted to go through them quickly so that he could hear the first boy again. God, Donghyuck really hoped they’d introduce themselves or he’d have a problem with keeping up with the nicknames he gave them in his head. He also kind of wished to just remember their names because he knew he knew them and that he was close to them but he couldn’t for the life of him remember anything but his own name.

Donghyuck had been right. For an unknown amount of time (at least to Donghyuck) there were so many different people talking to him he had a hard time keeping up with how many there actually were. And to make it worse only one of them had introduced himself.

“Sup Haechannie, it’s Lucas. But you probably already know that.”

Donghyuck hadn’t and thus he’d been very grateful to Lucas. Obviously he couldn’t voice this out loud or anything but he promised himself if he remembered this after waking up he’d thank Lucas. All of the boys focused on telling stories that were currently happening from what Donghyuck gathered. Some names popped up here and there like Jaemin, Jeno, Mark, Chenle, Renjun and some more Donghyuck couldn’t quite remember. From what everyone said about Mark Donghyuck supposed he had been the first boy to talk to him. Every time he was mentioned the boy telling him about Mark said that he was feeling like shit. Like he should be the one in the hospital bed and not Donghyuck but none of them ever said what actually happened.

By the time Mark came to visit him again Donghyuck wasn’t so sure he wanted to know anyways. It had to be something terrible enough to make the other so devastated that he cried again even though it had to have been quite some time since he had last talked to Donghyuck.

“Hi sunshine,” Mark whispered after probably calming down and Donghyuck felt like he was being caressed again. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Donghyuck couldn’t quite be the judge of that.

“Everyone is telling me to man the fuck up and stop blaming myself because I couldn’t have done anything anyways.” Donghyuck could hear Mark scoff. Was it really that hard to not blame himself for whatever had happened?

“Renjun almost beat me up and then smothered me with affection. Jeno and Jaemin would probably have been jealous if they hadn’t joined the cuddle pile as well.”

Mark laughed at that. Very, very quietly but he laughed nonetheless. Donghyuck counted it as a win, though what for he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Everyone said they told you stories that involved everyone else but I don’t even know what to tell you now that you’re probably tired of hearing me say I’m sorry. I’m still sorry but in case of you actually hearing me and remembering everything I don’t wanna risk getting hit.”

Donghyuck wondered if Mark realised if Donghyuck heard and remembered everything he said he’d remember his confession too. There was a bit of shuffling and Donghyuck felt more of his body than he had the entire time he had been in this state. Mark exhaled and Donghyuck felt something at the side of his head.

The side of his head.

Donghyuck had his body back.

He could feel everything where he was supposed to, not just as a phantom touch somewhere in the nothing he had existed in for an unknown amount of time. Donghyuck felt something or maybe someone press into his side and a weight over his tummy. He didn’t feel like he was closer to waking up but at least now he felt more comfortable than being whatever he had been before.

Mark chuckled dryly, shaking Donghyuck out of his amazement of being able to actually feel again.

“Hey,” Mark murmured as he softly caressed Donghyuck’s cheek (god, he was glad he could feel again), “when you wake up and inevitably don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore, at least promise me to not throw away our polaroids?”

Donghyuck still couldn’t fathom what had happened for Mark to expect Donghyuck to leave him the second he woke up. He was still unsure of their relationship to each other as well since Mark told him he loved him like he had never told him before but Donghyuck knew for sure now that he had felt the same way before forgetting everything. Otherwise the way his chest hurt whenever he thought about Mark wouldn’t make sense.

It was quiet again. It seemed to be a common theme amongst the boys visiting him. They’d say something for a short time and then they’d be quiet for what felt like an eternity and no time at all. Donghyuck wondered if it had always been like that but he didn’t feel like it had.

“When you thought I had broken your camera on purpose because I wanted to spend more time with you I hadn’t actually broken it, you know?”

Donghyuck didn’t know. Not what incident Mark was talking about or what camera or his thoughts back then.

“Chenle actually broke the thing but he was so scared I couldn’t just rat him out like that.” Mark chuckled. A real chuckle this time. “I don’t even know what he was so scared of. He’s, like, your favourite kid, you never would’ve done anything to him. Well, maybe you would’ve made him buy you a new one but he’s the only one in our group who could afford to do it anyways. Actually, just yesterday when he accidentally broke Lucas’ favourite mug he-“

“Excuse me,” Mark was interrupted by a female voice that sounded very grown up, “I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave soon. Visiting hours are over in-“ there was a short pause “-well, they’re already over to be honest. You should really come here earlier if you’re going to talk to your friend.”

Mark sighed and removed himself from Donghyuck. Donghyuck wanted to reach out and pull him back again. He wanted to snuggle up to him, to smell his watermelon body lotion, to- To smell his watermelon body lotion?

Mark hadn’t smelled like anything from what Donghyuck had been able to tell. Was he remembering something or was he delusional?

Donghyuck supposed remembering something was the more obvious answer here considering his current state. He wondered how Mark had been able to get Donghyuck back into his body and have him remember something in the same visit. Maybe they had the strongest bond between all of their friends. With the way Mark had been brought up by almost everyone he wouldn’t be surprised if it proved to be true later.

“Alright, sorry. I really can’t make it earlier though. Hyuck wouldn’t have wanted me to miss anything no matter the state he’s in.”

Donghyuck took a moment to appreciate Mark going about his day like nothing was wrong just because Donghyuck (probably) would have wanted it that way even thought Mark himself probably just wanted to either stay by Donghyuck’s side or curl into a ball and let the darkness take him.

“Then come in on weekends,” the woman sighed and Donghyuck could hear Mark huff a laugh.

“Since we’re not allowed to pile into this room I don’t think that’s going to be possible any time soon.”

Donghyuck wanted to know what he meant by that. Did they have a fixed schedule or could some of his friends only see him on the weekends? Was Mark upset by that or was it something else?

The woman sighed again but after that no more words were exchanged and all Donghyuck could hear was some more shuffling and a door closing. After that Donghyuck did what he did best by now, zone out. Even thought he wasn’t really ‘zoned in’ anyways. Ever since the third boy that had spoken to him Donghyuck had wondered why he only ever heard his friends but never when anyone else came in or talked which he assumed happened on a regular basis. Maybe his brain didn’t want him to listen to anyone but his friends, maybe he wanted to find comfort in such an unfamiliar situation and automatically blocked everything out that didn’t make him feel more than safe. Because if Donghyuck knows one thing, it’s that he felt safe with every single one of the boys that had come to visit him until now.

Now that Donghyuck thought about it, he had never heard any voices he would have considered to be his parents. There was never a woman that came to talk to him or a man. Every voice sounded relatively young, some more than others but none of them felt like they belonged to his parents. Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he also blocked out his parents’ voice but with every silent moment he became more and more sure of his parents either not existing or not wanting to associate with him. It stung a bit coming to that realisation but since he couldn’t remember them in the first place he was more devastated at the thought of parents leaving their child than actually losing his parents.

Deciding to leave those thoughts behind and instead becoming accustomed to the feeling of having a body again Donghyuck tried to move. It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t, Donghyuck wasn’t sure what he had expected. He could feel everything now. The bed under him, the sheets over him, though both sensations faded into the background pretty quickly. Now that Donghyuck had his body back again he actually felt like he could go to sleep and maybe get back his sense of time as well so he tried to relax as much as he could without being able to actually relax his muscles and closing his eyes even though they were already closed. Not before long he actually dozed off.

The next time he was conscious the second boy was already halfway though a sentence.

“-and then he said I looked like a little bitch so I got up there and punched him in the face. You should have seen it! Next to Chenle choking on cat food it’s my second favourite thing that happened this year.”

Second Boy wasn’t New Boy anymore because Donghyuck couldn’t call them all New Boy. Second Boy had basically upgraded.

“Anyways, you should really wake up soon. Johnny hyung is going to have your ass the next time he sees you when you’re conscious. Not only because you worried him but also because of the shitload of course work you missed. Seriously, it’s already piling up, you should consider opening your pretty eyes soon or you’re going to be holed up in your room for a week.

“I know you Hyuck, don’t even try to deny it.”

Donghyuck would have laughed at the absurdity of Second Boy’s last sentence had it not had such a sad underlying message. He was trying to pretend like they were actually having a conversation and Donghyuck wasn’t lying motionlessly in a hospital bed. Donghyuck wanted to wake up, he did, but something stopped him. He felt like he was waiting for something, or someone, to shake him awake instead of simply waking up because he could.

Second Boy sighed and Donghyuck felt a feather light touch to his temple.

“You’re really stupid, you know that? Well, I suppose Mark is too, maybe even more stupid than you but couldn’t you have waited for the rain to die down before-“

Now Second Boy was the one being interrupted by someone and Donghyuck felt a little frustrated. He had been so close to discovering what had happened or at least part of it and now he probably wasn’t going to get anything for quite some time.

“Hey Injun. I don’t wanna disturb your Hyuck Time but Sicheng hyung just told me that we’re allowed to be in here three at a time maximum now so I brought Jeno and myself to join you guys.”

‘Injun’ (who Donghyuck supposed was Renjun) huffed but even with closed eyes and not really remembering a lot Donghyuck could tell it was a fond sound. Donghyuck supposed the boys entering the room now were his boyfriends Jaemin and Jeno. Renjun only further proved Donghyuck right by sighing, “Alright, come in you dumbasses. Seriously, Jaem, you could’ve just come in without saying a word and I could’ve finished scolding Hyuck and then you could’ve told me the good news.”

Jaemin laughed quietly and a third voice joined him, Donghyuck supposed he was Jeno. Donghyuck wanted them to touch him. He’d found it easier to remember things when people were touching him. Just earlier he had remembered Renjun to have a fierce personality under normal circumstances. He still couldn’t remember a face or body but he was content with just their essence for now.

The three boyfriends chatted with each other, and then with Donghyuck as if he could actually answer them. There weren’t really a lot of new things Donghyuck could learn from their conversation but he listened intently anyways. It was kind of fun listening to the boys bickering and teasing each other.

“Well Hyuck, today we have to leave early. Ten hyung is supposedly sick and so are Johnny hyung and Doyoung hyung but we all know they just want to smash while Taeyong hyung is still out with Jaehyun hyung. Anyways, we have to take over their shifts so we’re going to leave now but Lucas is going to come by later so that you don’t feel lonely,” Jaemin said and Donghyuck could hear a chair scraping against the floor. The door opened but before his friends could leave he could hear Renjun speak up again.

“Wait guys, let’s touch him goodbye. Mark said he could have sworn Hyuck felt more alive after he half hugged him yesterday so maybe touch helps him get better as well.”

Donghyuck could have wept tears of joy at Renjun’s words. And then because, even though he already remembered something about him, with the touch of a small but kind of rough hand on his cheek he remembered his friend being artistic and basically always being attached to something he could draw with. “See you Hyuckie,” he whispered and Donghyuck would have smiled if he had been able to.

Next followed a warmer, bigger but softer hand. By some miracle Donghyuck could identify it as Jaemin’s. He remembered how Jaemin was the one with the softest hands out of the three because he was a Performing Arts major and didn’t have to use his hands much with brushes or instruments or sports related stuff. For some reason he also remembered Jaemin’s lactose intolerance. Why his hands made him remember that he didn’t know but he was grateful anyways. Next was Jeno. His hands were even bigger than Jaemin’s even if it was just by a little bit. They were rough too, from playing in the basketball team, Donghyuck was sure. There was something on Jeno’s hand that tickled Donghyuck and he remembered Jeno’s love for cats and his unfortunate allergy.

“Bye Hyuck, don’t be too lonely without us,” Jaemin shouted before the door closed and Donghyuck heard aggressive shushing.

It continued like that for quite a while. All of his visiting friends would touch him and he’d remember something little. Not everything was triggered by touch. Sometimes simple phrases or words had memories flooding back to Donghyuck. He still felt like there was a huge chunk missing, mostly about what happened before he found himself in this coma and who he actually was. He remembered a lot about his friends and a little bit about his life like the prom he had hated with a passion ever since his date had ditched him to suck up to some teacher instead.

There were times when Donghyuck questioned his ability to wake up at all. He was conscious so often he wasn’t sure he could even really wake up any more. The lack of Mark also made him feel a bit empty for some reason. Sure, he loved his friends, especially now that he actually remembered them but Mark was still something special to Donghyuck even without Donghyuck having to remember everything about him.

All of Donghyuck’s friends had visited him at least twice before Mark came in again. He didn’t say anything, just slid into the bed next to him but Donghyuck knew it was him because the way he touched him was different. His whole aura was.

“If I told you to wake the fuck up because you’re seriously going to die with all the work waiting for you would you listen to me?” he asked in lieu of a greeting and if Donghyuck was awake he probably would’ve chuckled. Mark sighed and his hand came up to card though Donghyuck’s hair. “It’s so hard without you sunshine. No one motivates me in the morning. No one motivates me at all actually. I’m running on the thought of you waking up sooner rather than later. I don’t want you to scold me but it’s becoming harder Hyuck. I can’t pretend to be fine when everyone knows I’m not. I’m so close to breaking down so please, _please_ , wake up. I don’t care if you hate me, please just-“ Mark hiccupped “-just wake up, sunshine.”

‘ _I could never hate you,_ ’ is the first thought Donghyuck had that wasn’t a passive one and slowly, with Mark rambling about nothing next to him, he remembered.

He remembered about himself and he remembered about everyone else too. Remembered how he was just as much of a petty bitch as Renjun was, how he’d always tease his friends but Mark especially. Donghyuck remembered his feeling of actual annoyance with Mark turn into fondness and in the blink of an eye into love. And it wasn’t kindergarten love. Real love with all the ups and downs and doubts and wonderful moments in which he thought Mark might feel the same. He remembered being too much of a coward to talk to Mark though, to tell him, to get it over with. And he remembered always wanting to do everything right.

But he couldn’t do anything about it. Because he was still in this stupid coma and he still didn’t know why. It frustrated him to no end now that he actually knew himself and the others again. He had been a bit annoyed before, it wasn’t exactly enjoyable not being able to move or talk, to do anything really but now he just wanted to wake up more than he ever had before.

There was a light pressure on his temple and Donghyuck could barely make it out to be caused by Mark’s lips pressed to it before it was gone again.

“I love you Hyuck. I’m sorry. And if you wake up and decide you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore I completely understand.”

Then Mark was gone and Donghyuck wanted to wake up more than ever before in his life. He wanted to wake up and tell Mark he loved him too, had ever since Mark fell into that stupid pool at that stupid frat party neither of them had enjoyed. Donghyuck wanted to tell him that he’d never leave him, that he shouldn’t apologize for what nobody thought was his fault. He couldn’t and he hated it. Hated it so much that he didn’t stop to think about what he still couldn’t remember.

Surprisingly it’s Yangyang who made him realise what he was still missing. Yangyang was one of his friends who didn’t visit as often because he didn’t actually go to their college but one four hours away. He was one of the friends that only visited on the weekends. Kunhang and Dejun who had accompanied him were out somewhere on the search for snacks. Donghyuck and Yangyang weren’t particularly close but they weren’t distant either, rather mostly bonding over being little brats and annoying the shit out of too many people. Over the last few times Yangyang had come to see him though his words had always been rather serious. It was a bit of a nice change but at the same time it kind of wasn’t.

“You know, you’re taking your sweet time waking up Hyuck and I’m definitely not blaming you, you’re literally in a coma, I don’t think you have much control over that but we’re going insane. We don’t only miss you, we literally forget you’re not there and we talk to you and we turn around and it’s either someone else or literally no one at all. You’d think after almost two months we’d be used to it but we aren’t. We need you Donghyuck, probably more than you realise.”

Yangyang took his hand in both of his. He chuckled slightly, rubbing small circles into the back Donghyuck’s hand.

“None of us can thrive without your attention.”

If Donghyuck wasn’t in a coma he would have ripped his hand out of Yangyang’s and stared at him in shock. Yangyang hadn’t done or said anything wrong, never really had, rather, he said just the right thing. Memories flooded behind Donghyuck’s closed eyes of that part he’d been missing for too long now.

_“You don’t pay any attention to me anymore!” Mark exclaimed, hands on his hips and eyebrows drawn together._

_Donghyuck rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, staring back at Mark defiantly. He had just come home to the dorm after a draining dance lesson and he wasn’t in the mood for any confrontation but Mark’s tone made his blood boil._

_“And why would I want to pay attention to you, huh? What makes you so special and deserving of my attention?”_

_Mark spluttered, looking offended and hurt at the same time. What a strange mix._

_“What do you mean ‘what makes me special’?” Mark huffed and crossed his arms just like Donghyuck. “I’m your best friend. That makes me special enough!”_

_Donghyuck dragged a hand over his face before scoffing. He didn’t have time for this bullshit. There was a history paper waiting for him on his desk, just wanting to be completed._

_“Well if it makes you special you should know where my fucking priorities lie and they’re definitely not with you. We’re not fucking dating Mark.”_

_Two words. Donghyuck had forgotten to say two words but that was all it took for Mark’s face to crumble and his stance to fall away. In that moment Donghyuck didn’t care about it, didn’t care about the despair on his best friends face at something he hadn’t meant the way he said it. So Donghyuck pushed past Mark and into his room, almost slamming the door in his face._

_It wasn’t until later that he felt the guilt seep into his bones, felt the weight his words had borne. He hadn’t meant it like that. Donghyuck had meant to tell Mark he wasn’t his priority_ right now _because he had something very important to do. The dating comment probably hadn’t been appropriate either._

_It was the guilt that made him abandon his almost finished paper and get up, step out of his room, bump into Mark in the hallway._

_Mark visibly swallowed but clenched his jaw and stared defiantly at Donghyuck. And while he might have felt guilty he was still stressed and sleep deprived so Donghyuck just rolled his eyes at Mark again and bumped into his shoulder on the way to the front door. Just as it was about to close he heard Mark’s kind of timid voice from the inside, “Where are you going? Does your priority lie with_ someone _else rather than_ something _?”_

_Donghyuck scoffed again._

_“I’m going to buy watermelon ice you jealous bastard!”_

_And with that he slammed the door and walked into the pouring rain._

A stupid little misunderstanding like that had caused a stupid big situation like the one Donghyuck found himself in. He remembered being extra careful in the rain because it had been hard to see anything that wasn’t in immediate reach. He remembered checking the street thrice after making sure the light really was green for him before he had walked across and yet the motorbike driver had still not stopped at the red light, resulting in him hitting Donghyuck right on. Donghyuck couldn’t feel the pain anymore but the memory was more than enough.

Now he wanted to wake up even more. He wanted to make sure Mark understood he wasn’t actually mad at him and that Mark was never not his priority in his heart. But as Yangyang had said Donghyuck didn’t have any control over it. Donghyuck felt like crying again, this time because he couldn’t do anything at all, couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, couldn’t convey his feelings through his eyes alone.

He tried to move. It was weird to try so hard and fail over and over and over again. Days passed and before Donghyuck knew, Mark was visiting again. This time he didn’t climb into Donghyuck’s bed, instead settling on carding his hand through his hair and murmuring into his ear again. Donghyuck couldn’t not try again with all his might. He tried moving his fingers. Total failure. His arm. Not any better. If Donghyuck could have controlled his breath he would have taken a deep breath before trying to open his eyes. It didn’t work at first and Donghyuck was on the verge of giving up when Mark’s words reached him.

“I love you Hyuck. God, I’m so sorry I got upset over something so stupid. You never have to pay attention to me again just _please wake up_.”

Donghyuck’s eyes didn’t snap open like he had expected them to. They opened slowly, almost too slow for Donghyuck but when he tried to talk instead not a sound came out of his mouth. It was too dry to form anything coherent but Donghyuck tried anyways which ended in him croaking and sending himself into a coughing fit. Mark basically jumped out of the chair before pushing the button for the nurse on the side of Donghyuck’s bed.

Mark and Donghyuck didn’t get to talk until much later. Donghyuck had to be examined and all that stuff. Donghyuck honestly wasn’t so sure himself. Everything happened in a blur, Mark being whisked out of the room by some nurse, Sicheng coming in to check on him and ask some questions, some medical things Donghyuck couldn’t quite process and then quiet as he laid in his hospital room and stared up at the ceiling. Sicheng had forbidden everyone from visiting Donghyuck for the next two days because he had to do a few more tests and Donghyuck had to get his rest.

When Donghyuck was discharged it was Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin who picked him up. They asked him all kinds of questions but they mostly just clung to him like he would disappear if they didn’t. It actually felt kind of nice but right now all he wanted to do was talk to Mark about what happened and his feelings for him.

When they arrived at Mark and his dorm he coaxed the three koalas off of him with a promise of a long movie night if they left him alone for the rest of the day. They reluctantly agreed but not before kissing Donghyuck’s cheeks at least thrice. Donghyuck shook his head but smiled fondly as his friends skipped off. Slowly he turned to open the door when it flung open and Mark knocked all wind out of him.

“Mark. Mark, I can’t breath,” Donghyuck managed to choke out and Mark immediately let go, stepping back to look at Donghyuck with wide eyes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sor-“ he began but Donghyuck wouldn’t let him finish.

“Yes, yes, you’re sorry. I get it. Can we skip to the part where you tell me you love me?”

Mark gaped at Donghyuck before the blush slowly made its way up his neck and onto his cheeks. While Mark stumbled over his words Donghyuck pushed him inside and closed the door behind them. Not everybody had to see their first real confession.

“You heard that?” is what Mark settled on in the end and Donghyuck almost threw his head back but decided a giggle would be better in the last second.

“I heard everything you said. Seriously though Mark.” Donghyuck cupped Mark’s face and looked into his eyes. “It’s not your fault and it shouldn’t have been you okay? Now tell me you love me so that I can tell you I love you too and we can have a hot make-out session.”

Mark blushed again and looked at the floor before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He looked up.

“I love you so much Lee Donghyuck, you don’t even know.”

Donghyuck grinned and leaned closer. Mark’s eyes fluttered shut.

“I love you too Mark Lee. So much.”

And then his lips were on Mark’s. He would have taken his sweet time, would’ve gone slow, calculated. Mark had different plans, placing his hands on Donghyuck’s waist and pulling him in. He tilted his head and ran his tongue along Donghyuck’s bottom lip. Donghyuck’s knees buckled but Mark adapted quickly, bending down to pick him up and carry him into Mark’s bedroom.

Without detaching their mouths Mark gently let Donghyuck down on his bed and had Donghyuck not been so out of breath and if his mind hadn’t been as muddled as his had been he would’ve thought of Mark’s little display of strength as hot. They kept kissing, Mark teasing Donghyuck with his very being, running his hands up and down Donghyuck’s sides and into his hair, tongue licking, tasting and retreating again.

Donghyuck groaned and leaned back with a kiss to Mark’s temple. He laid his head down on the pillow and just looked at Mark with his messy hair and spit slicked lips. God, Donghyuck loved him.

“You can demand my attention now. I can’t use the not dating card anymore.”

Mark rolled his eyes and slapped Donghyuck’s shoulder before falling down next to him and cuddling up to him.

“I love you but if you want to sleep now I really wouldn’t mind.”

Donghyuck giggled.


End file.
